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Your Relationship Portfolio: Is It Permanently Bankrupt After Betrayal Or Is There Hope For Recovery?

By Kara Facundo
LPC
Have you ever wondered if an investment will be profitable over time with the ups and downs of an unsteady market? Making wise investment requires intentional understanding of the environment and discipline in riding out occasional instability. Much like financial investment, relational investment can be risky with no guaranteed payout. It, too, is vulnerable, particularly after discovery of betrayal that can leave the emotional bank account in deficit. Given this fluctuating environment, how do you know if it’s wise to re-invest?
When determining whether a relationship is permanently bankrupt or has hope for recovery, consider discussing the following with your partner.
  • Does it make sense? Are there more deposits than withdrawals?
  • What are we willing to invest, over how long, and under which terms?
  • Can we stay invested through disruption?
  • Is there action toward increased skill set and effort, or is it stagnant with low interest and minimal dividend?
  • What has our historical data told us over time with regard to contributions toward growth or environments that cause decline?
  • What is needed to increase profitability?
Whether in financial or relational investment, growth takes understanding, effort and time. After substantial loss, recovery requires discipline in resistance to the impulse of complete withdrawal after disruption. It requires resilience through commitment and hope that the investment can recover over time. If you are not feeling invested currently, consider communicating new terms with your partner, checking in daily to see where adjustments can be made for maximum growth.

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Kara Facundo
Kara Facundo
Kara Facundo is a Licensed Professional Counselor trained in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Levels I, II and III. She specializes in helping individuals and couples recover from betrayal trauma and achieve personal growth. She also has a Master's Degree in Clinical Mental Health.
Principle Skills Relationship Center is one of the few therapy practices in Colorado that specializes in treating couples with The Gottman Method. The Center integrates the Method in treating betrayal, trauma, and sexual compulsions and addictions.
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