Finding Time in the Chaos
September 11, 2023
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One of the services we provide is Intimate Solution counseling. This approach is weaved into our overall work with couples and individuals, especially for those who suffer from intimacy anorexia and their partners.
Intimacy anorexia, as defined by sex therapist and author Dr. Douglas Weiss, is the active withholding of emotional, spiritual, and sexual intimacy from the spouse. This condition is often associated with feelings of sorrow, anger, despair, pride, fear, abandonment or isolation for both the intimacy anorexic and the partner.
Why Is Intimacy Important?
Physical, emotional and spiritual intimacy strengthens bonds and establishes trust. In intimate relationships, partners feel secure, close, connected and supported. They can share their thoughts and feelings with their partners. They show love, affection and praise for each other.
A lack of intimacy is the cause as well as the effect of anger and conflicting issues in a family. According to Dr. John Gottman, criticism and contempt are the primary factors affecting intimacy.
How Can I Improve Intimacy?
The principles of Intimate Solution can be applied to all couples, even those who may not suffer from intimacy anorexia. We all have room for improvement in increasing and improving our intimacy with our partner.
Deep conversations can foster emotional intimacy. Take a break from thinking about office tension or household chores. Sharing your thoughts and feelings at the end of the day.
Do not constantly assess or evaluate your partner when he or she is speaking. Listening without judgment.
Expressing gratitude even on little things is the best way to show your love and affection towards your partner. Include “Thank You” and “I love you” in your daily conversations.
Research has shown that learning new things together can strengthen the emotional bonds between spouses. You can try anything new: attend cooking classes or participate in a new sport. This rekindles the spark and makes you feel like a team.
According to Dr. Gottman, “Every positive action in a relationship is foreplay.”
So, spend time with your partner.
Many couples put sex far down on their priority list. Make physical intimacy a priority and ;maintain physical connection. Also, sex needs may change with time. Therefore, break up the routine and try some new things. You can try new sex positions or places to keep your sex-life healthy and exciting.
To help you determine if you or your partner is an intimacy anorexic, go to this questionnaire:
Our private therapy sessions or our couples workshop can help you discover the underlying issues of intimacy anorexia.
