7 Ways to Grow Love

By Caralee Frederic, LCSW | Certified Gottman Therapist | Couples Workshop Presenter
(Excerpt from “How To Keep Love Going Strong” by John M. and Julie Gottman, yesmagazine.org, Jan. 3, 2011)

  1. Enhance your love map: Emotionally intelligent couples are intimately familiar with each other’s world. They have a richly detailed love map.
  2. Nurture fondness and admiration: Fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a long-lasting romance.
  3. Turn toward each other: When your partner “bids” for your attention, affection, humor, or support, do you turn toward or away? Turning tward is the basis of emotional connection, romance, passion, and a good sex life.
  4. Let your partner influence you: The happiest, most stable marriages are those in which the husband treats his wife with respect and does not resist power sharing… . It’s just as important for wives to treat their husbands with honor and respect.
  5. Solve your solvable problems: Start with good manners when tackling your solvable problems.
  6. Overcome gridlock: Many perpetual conflicts that are gridlocked have an existential base of unexpressed dreams behind each person’s stubborn position.
  7. Create shared meaning: Marriage can have an intentional sense of shared purpose, meaning, family values, and cultural legacy that forms a shared inner life.
Learn more about these 7 ways to grow your love through the Art and Science of Love, a couples weekend workshop created by the Gottman Institute.