How Do I Know If I’m a Sex Addict?

By Caralee Frederic, LCSW | Certified Gottman Therapist | Couples Workshop Presenter
Below are some questions developed by Dr. Doug Weiss to help you determine if you or your partner may be a sex addict:

  1. Do you have sexual behaviors you wish you could stop or fear could be discovered by others? (e.g. viewing porn, masturbating, frequenting strip clubs or massage parlors).
  2. Do you feel abnormally driven by your sex drive, like it’s all consuming?
  3. Have you been in relationships just for sex?
  4. Has masturbation been ongoing, even after marriage?
  5. Has pornography continued for you even after engaging in a long-term, committed sexual relationship?
  6. Do you find yourself spending a significant amount of time online, viewing pornography or grooming others for sexual encounters?
  7. Have you experienced an unwanted sexual encounter during childhood or adolescence?
  8. Has monogamous sex grown to be boring?

Now score yourself. Each “yes” equals 1 point.

1-3 points: You may not be struggling with sexual addiction. However, any of the above symptoms are bothersome to you, then they are worth exploring further with a licensed therapist.

4-6 points: You may be struggling with sexual addiction.

7-8 points: You are more than likely sexually addicted.

For additional clarity, here are some additional factors to consider from the book Out of the Darkness, by Cory Schortzman, LPC:

  • Did your parents have problems with their own sexual behaviors?
  • Do you feel like your sexual behavior is normal/abnormal?
  • Are any of your sexual activities against the law?
  • Have your sexual behaviors degraded yourself or others?
  • Do you ever think your sexual desire is stronger than you are?
  • Has your sexual behavior interfered with your family life or marriage?
  • Has your sexual behavior created problems or harmed anyone in your family?
  • Do you hide your sexual behaviors from others?
Was this Blog helpful? If so, I highly recommend my couples weekend workshop: The Art and Science of Love, created by the Gottman Institute. Information and exercises are presented in an organized, cohesive manner. It’s a wonderful investment in your love life, and will truly strengthen your relationship!