HOW DO I KNOW IF I’M A SEX ADDICT?
By Caralee Frederic, LCSW | Certified Gottman Therapist | Couples Workshop Presenter
Below are some questions developed by Dr. Doug Weiss to help you determine if you or your partner may be a sex addict:
- Do you have sexual behaviors you wish you could stop or fear could be discovered by others? (e.g. viewing porn, masturbating, frequenting strip clubs or massage parlors).
- Do you feel abnormally driven by your sex drive, like it’s all consuming?
- Have you been in relationships just for sex?
- Has masturbation been ongoing, even after marriage?
- Has pornography continued for you even after engaging in a long-term, committed sexual relationship?
- Do you find yourself spending a significant amount of time online, viewing pornography or grooming others for sexual encounters?
- Have you experienced an unwanted sexual encounter during childhood or adolescence?
- Has monogamous sex grown to be boring?
Now score yourself. Each “yes” equals 1 point.
1-3 points: You may not be struggling with sexual addiction. However, any of the above symptoms are bothersome to you, then they are worth exploring further with a licensed therapist.
4-6 points: You may be struggling with sexual addiction.
7-8 points: You are more than likely sexually addicted.
For additional clarity, here are some additional factors to consider from the book Out of the Darkness, by Cory Schortzman, LPC:
- Did your parents have problems with their own sexual behaviors?
- Do you feel like your sexual behavior is normal/abnormal?
- Are any of your sexual activities against the law?
- Have your sexual behaviors degraded yourself or others?
- Do you ever think your sexual desire is stronger than you are?
- Has your sexual behavior interfered with your family life or marriage?
- Has your sexual behavior created problems or harmed anyone in your family?
- Do you hide your sexual behaviors from others?
Was this Blog helpful? If so, I highly recommend my couples weekend workshop: The Art and Science of Love, created by the Gottman Institute. Information and exercises are presented in an organized, cohesive manner. It’s a wonderful investment in your love life, and will truly strengthen your relationship!
Common Questions About Sexual Addiction
What is it Like to Live with a Sex Addict from a Partner’s Perspective?
Why Do People Become Addicted to Sex?
What is Sex Addiction?
What is Intimacy Anorexia?
How Do I Know if I am or My Spouse is an Intimacy Anorexic?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Caralee Frederic, LCSW, has practiced as a private couples and individual therapist in Colorado, specializing in marriage and family counseling, for almost 20 years. Founder of Principle Skills Relationship Center, Caralee is also a Certified Gottman Therapist, presenter of ‘The Art and Science of Love‘ couples workshop, and a Certified Sexual Addiction Recovery Therapist.