Some couples who seek counseling worry that they may have waited too long. Can their relationship be saved or is it beyond repair?
That’s a tough question to answer for many reasons. Some may say it is never too late. Some may say that the end is when an affair or other betrayal happens. What I have seen and what the research through The Gottman Institute suggests is that even dying relationships can be saved.
According to Dr. John Gottman and Nan Silver in “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” there are four situations that could mean the end of a relationship: the problems seem severe to the couple, talking doesn’t seem to work so each person in the relationship looks for their own solutions, the couple leads two different lives and when one or both individuals feel a sense of loneliness.
Oftentimes couples in these situations will seek a divorce, some sort of betrayal will happen, or they will continue to lead two separate lives, essentially having a marriage only in name.
From my experience, couples in those situations can be saved. Whether they will or not is in large part up to the couple. If you feel you are in one of these situations, or if a betrayal has occurred, here are things you can do to try to save your relationship: